irreverent expressions

"i do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of disliking them." - jane austen

"i had an original thought, but then i forgot it." - me

"to err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer." - farmers' almanac

"the nice part about being a pesimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised." - george f. will

"never knock on death's door: ring the bell and run away! death really hates that!" - matt frewer

"nine out of ten people like chocolate. the tenth person always lies." - john g tullius

"i generally avoid temptation unless i can't resist it" - mae west

"it's better to bite someone in the ass before they bite you on the nose" - me

"in religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination." - mark twain

"honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy." - george carlin

"the direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations." - david friedman

"democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half the time." - e b white

"i get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult." - eb white

"god grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, courage to change the things i can - and the abilitiy to kick ass anyone that thinks differernt." - me

"the word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'." - larry hardiman

"sometimes i lie awake at night, and i ask, "where have I gone wrong?" then a voice says to me, "this is going to take more than one night." - charles m. schulz