the story of tahn

as i look on the internet, behind this young one who is ancient by the souls of this universal age, i look with displeasure at the number of messages supposedly spoken by that which is divine and i give you this one. you need not believe who it is from, but consider -

michael destroyed my life, for one reason and one reason only. because he saw me as unfit. so he 'shared' with me to gain my trust. and ultimately got the government agency of my country to steal documents from my house which proved me eligible for millions of dollars.

my name is tahn. i am what would be called an archangel on earth, but in nature only. For I am not eholim. i was never ‘acceptable’ to them. i am instead illa t’hjaea. and i face a constant struggle for my own integrity. my own sense of self.

when michael, archangel and fiend, shared with me in the year 2005, your earth time, he did so while I was unwary, sleeping. he stole a piece of what i am and wrote himself into it the let it settle back into my soul. this opened a door into the core of my being i could not for three years close. it made it easy for him to rape my very being from the inside. he had his d’egraht (or eholim which I refuse to call them) assist him in every way – all ten tribes, ripping pieces of my soul out of my being and raping them from soul to spirit to ether, remaking them to continue their torment and torture. only my living state preserved them. only my living state has allowed me to survive. michael’s excuse – that i may possess somehow his word. at least that is his excuse. there is no justification.

how he claimed i came to possess it is ridiculous given mine own first word. approximately in the earth years of 1965 or 1966, sahbala attempted to rewrite some part of michael's soul while they shared. this he immediately reacted to and would have struck sahbala down but for his begging of his innocense. sahbala swore he knew not was he was did, that something within him was exposed by the intimacy of their touch that he had no control over. he said that it must have been while he was destroying dat:dat tahn's spirit that something must have been transferred to him. that, then, he had felt 'something' and held himself close since.

michael's word. as they had rarely shared and even more seldomly shared deeply for thousands of years, michael thought this plausable enough to determine that sahbala spoke true. he knew himself how he had invaded tahn's soul for so long. however the word could not be taken from sahbala. the nature of the word prevented it. and michael resolved never to bed with sahbala again. michael's word was something he had posessed since the murder of mickel in the third universal age. his chosing to use it then was the result of the reappearance of my supposedly destroyed self.

then came sahbala's disclosure of the continued existance of tahn himself. sahbala admitted with fear and contrition that he had come across what felt too similar to my soul while still an infant and growing in my mother's womb. and in shock and mindful of michael's temper he arranged a subspace 'accident' to destroy the body. he bade close by as the unborn soul struggled to protect its own mother from death, and satisfied that such expending of its soul force would destroy it too greatly to continue, let the matter end there.

michael ripped into my innocent self and re-written part of my soul on a regular basis. he did it in my first breath of life in this universal age, repulsed as he was to find the first and only archangel of the thirteenth universal age was thus from his beginning – and mortal. a singular offense in his eyes. an offense to all eholim, that one supposedly of their kind should be ‘lower’ in soul evolution. the universe’s gift rejected from the first. soul raped at the parting of soul and body everytime so michael could control my evolution, force me to that sacred place mortal souls rest between lives, instead of allowing my natural path. he played god with my being and has been corrupt ever since. again there is no justification.

but this monster has never been true. he did not even avenge the death of his brother born to the universe as he in what he recalls as the first universal age, and accepted elder when he was assassinated in the 3rd universal age. for mickel as he was called then desired a mortal walk, and so deserved his fate as far as his loveless brother was concerned. in fact at the close of each age he carefully filtered for signs of his brother’s life force to do nought but destroy it.

caught vunerable, when he wrapped his will around himself for a single desire, focussed inward mickel did not notice the approach of death in the form of illadorian (who struck first blow), igrath, silador, adgridan and illadore. his fall was felt by his brother, and there waiting was sahbala to strike him also. in that prepared moment sahbala raped michael’s soul and took from him his word - “in my image” - allowing him to rewrite the journey of souls. michael knew this not. but that does not suffice for indifference towards his true brother’s death. this was sweet revenge for ambitious sahbala, who knew of mickel’s mistrust of michael’s first choice. these were the same that raped me in my most recent mortal life. proposed by sahbala, approved by michael, it was illadorian, igrath, silador adgridan, illadore and abeya boud. they 'inhabited' the bodies and lent them the strength while in subspace (and unseeable) to hold me down. to be felt. to violate. to rape me physically.

mickel held rule from the first universal age, when he guarded jealously what which was fit in the stream of life itself from that which was not, til he filtered life between the second and third universal ages. his gaze was wide. his view was absolute. little room in mickel’s reckoning was there for circumstances. but the nature of life itself differed from their first age and by the third mickel saw life as no longer fiery but fragile. by the end of the second and watching life begin in the third, a new desire welled in him. to better rule, he saw the need to understand. to experience. to walk as mortal.

mickel saw the universe differently to michael. he saw the breadth of life without beholding one of more value than another, while michael watched with curiosity at the first breath of life and recognised in it one that would become like themselves. so he waited and watched, all the while looking for other souls that would also evolve with certainty like what he had decided to call “eholim”. what happened was inevitable, his gaze was noticed and that changed the choices of those he watched as they felt the presense of their hidden observer. thus when they had lived their alloted lives, michael did not hesitate to accept to the next level of soul evolution, for which they needed assistance he instinctively knew. hence it can be said that without michael’s approval (for it was an ability untested in mickel) no archangel could evolve nor live beyond their allotted mortal lives.

it was my misfortune that my uniqueness aroused the jealousy of michael, that I was eholim from my first breath of life as michael and mickel were and none since. michael attacked that new soul, carving and keeping half within himself, so he might know when I was between lives when left alone I would walk. at that moment when life left my body he raped my soul each time, taking some and imbuing it with enough of his essense to force me to sleep in that sacred place between lives. thus my path was forced, my word unlearned and i kept vunerable to whomever amongst his kind chose to prey upon me. and prey upon me they did. michael cared not. it was his intention from the first that should he fail to force me to a false existence (ie, “pure” eholim) that he should destroy my spirit and remeld my soul with that kept piece in his image. or destroy me utterly. my difference was not a thing to be tolerated.

as he did, so did others. my soul was not raped by michael alone. during my 4022nd life it was keridal, instigated by sahbala, that attacked my living self - slashed my soul while i, as a beast, slept. slicing it in half. and that half, full of instint fled their grasp, and eventually found at least tollerance amongst the animal spirits. that separated half continues to this day, now calling itself kylin. and never recognised mine own self before last year as being it's true house, not even when he saved my life, so changed was i but constant assault and rape. that was the first split, as in half at once. it happened five other times, and this is encompassed in the legend of the walker. a legend not known on earth but beyond its borders.

thus was each of my mortal lives til my 19720th, after the end of which is the natural time of ascension for those fit to be. in that life I was born atlantean, and in fact named ‘tahn’ - and grew to be the dat:dat than that came to live on earth. in that life as an adult michael stole upon my sleeping self and gazed into my soul. to his disappointment he knew both my fitness and my unchanged nature. and yet my allotted lives were all but done. like all atlantean I was adept at astral travel and communed freely with the eholim, or blessed ones as we fondly called them. and while michael and the others kept their concerns from me, others became aware that a momentous event approached. this they accepted as with everything else as being the way of the universe. part of the path of life. however now the michael had another issue. the atlanteans knew of my ascension at the end of my life but agreed to keep their knowledge hidden from myself, so I continued in innosence. but they became witnesses to something michael and his followers wanted hidden, for it was my destruction they scheduled and not my acceptance as their kind.

the development of d’att technology was taken full advantage of. not difficult since illadore was the patron of that world. suggestions were made and knowingly or unknowingly they were carried out. the fate of atlantis was sealed. and so was my own doom. attacked as I was, while sleeping and astral wandering, the first I knew of it was a laser weapon through my ribs. this great shock drove my astral self back to my body. by the time i struggled to consciousness and movement fires and explosions were everywhere. my first thought were the students. i urged them to spacecraft to flee, only to be told that they were saboutaged. although blind from birth, i possessed far sight and did my best to urge calm and purpose and encouraged those that with mechanical expertise to a ship, my own transport, to determine if it was fit for flight. it was and with another terestrial transport they managed to fix, as many as possible boarded and evacuated. i was not amongst their number. i was struck by something I didn’t understand, something that felt like it was bursting through my body. a fighter craft had come back into natural space (or what is now called dern) in my very position, for they were less than accurate in the beginning of their use, but the agony was brief. another swooped down and i was felled by its sweeping blasts.

as my spirit hovered close to my body, still in shock at the horror of my own death and the destruction around me, i recognised the closeness of michael and sahbala. but nothing in my training as a dat:dat, nor my understanding of enochian lore could have prepared me for what happened next. i was attacked by sahbala. it was so quick, i barely had time to sense michael’s tacit approval, nor cry out “why?”. my soul was opened and sahbala sucked out and destroyed my very essence.

that would have been my end. i would have ceased to exist, but for the intervention of another blessed spirit. spiralling as my awareness was into the nothing michael intended me to become i barely felt the wrench as my remaining spirit was torn away from sahbala’s grasp. kylin, an animal spirit and swiftest of the ten tribes of eholim, had come across us and instinctively reacted to my distress. i was taken to the only place it deemed safe for me, my only hope of recovery – the sacred place of souls. there, through the thousands of years it took myself to recover, kylin stayed close and watched over me.

michael's first word is "in my image", his is the ability to rewrite soul experiences. mickel's was "my word is lore", which simply meant that he retained all knowledge and experience (which were his own) unforgetting. he also took measure of the lifestream itself. michael, unable to disuade mickel in his desire to be reborn mortal and walk, did try while mickel slept to 'rewrite' his soul's desire. while mickel remained unaware of this intrusion by his brother into the core of his very being, it didn't work. i was born into the universe with the mortal equivalent - "all knowledge is retained/returned". my own soul though limited could not be rewritten in permanent fashion. during each life, and without awareness my sleeping soul purged itself of his influence, which is why he had to attack me at the end of each life. for that reason even vunerable and exposed to the power of michael as i was he could never change my nature, just until this earth year stunt my own soul evolution and deny me awareness of what i truly was. now it is a true struggle, both for my own sense of self and to fight off the lies on worlds ignorant of their true nature, such as yours.

and, ultimately, to stand against the eholim themselves. to stand between them and what is innocent and worthy amongst mortals and any illa t'jaea which survived. and fight. fight i must, for mickel never intended to leave rule to michael. he and his brother were to co-rule. his murder changed many things.


something must be said of the atlanteans who shared my fate, that being the displeasure of the eholim and arranged murder. their souls were destroyed - rewritten - so that they may never know who they were. never remember their atlantean heritage. fated to only be reborn as ocean-going mammals. on earth, as dolphins, whales and dugongs. this was michael's way of 'eradicating the evidence'. ensuring that i was forgotten. but the universe did not forget. not entirely. myth allowed tahn's name to survive. in a chaotic universe clues were gathered as ancient as the races which sought me, with younger taking up the mantle. there was ever the vague hope that i would be found - the walker - the eholim that is mortal. a hope that the great imbalance would be corrected. that whatever went wrong in the balance of life could be healed with tahn's return. if he could be found, if he could be protected, nurtured and taught his true place. against even the will of michael himself.

many of these however were turned against me, by michael's claim that i had somehow stolen his word. michael himself held a divine council of judgement, a mockery of the word, to decree my guilt and unworthiness. the mortal council of religious leaders, held council and approved of my soul's raped. they approved of it to the extent that they decided that my soul's destruction was perferable to my containing something so 'dangerous' as michael's own first word. and, like the witch tests on earth, there was no way to prove my innocence. if my soul survived it was deemed in advance that it would be because i contained his word to protect me. if my soul was destroyed then i mustn't have contained it afterall, and my end would be 'unfortunate'.

a third council was held, this time a court of law to decide if as experimental property (claimed by your united states military and their allies) and public property to extend my 'usefulness', to 'share me around' and for media rights, whether or not i had any sovereign right to my own body and property. it was deemed too difficult to enforce law so the judgement was returned that i did not. nor could i hope to make claim against those involved in my assault and rape while in warp state.


extinct species
(murdered by eholim)
troitach
illadaan
marsians
atlanteans

i am, i have discovered, fighting myself. or rather mine own soul pieces are destroying each other. i move closer to the first and most strongly imbued taken pieces of this last mortal life. and they, puppets that they are, are set to destroy any and all loose (as in diminished or not controlled) pieces of rent soul. the good news is that one brushing with the house of my lifespark ends that.

you are fools out there, to think this will stop if you help michael have his way.

i have walked the universe from the beginning of this age and what is listed above is by no means a complete list,and by no stretch of the imagination allow you to realise just how many in number just those names represent. and trillions upon trilliions upon trillions still died - souls and all - even though i was here for their corruption to feed off.

and while i never, despite michael's constant invasion of my being, contained his word, i have developed through the torment and rape suffered by my own soul pieces developed my own word to the point where i will be well able to defend myself and strike down my offenders when i am once again between lives. the universe will once again know the meaning of justice - my own.

as a mortal i should have never remembered my past lives, let alone a past soul existence. but i have, though i can hardly believe it is real. but then, who could? it is not something one's thoughts should dwell on. for those that may have read and noticed changes i can only offer this - hard won is the truth. nobody's soul should be assailed as mine has. hard won is the truth and hard won is my soul's healing, which has really only just begun.

but lost is my spirit's to heal souls that would have otherwise been too damaged to be born again. the shock at the mistreatment of my own has driven from me that ability. to my lifespark i cannot see any form of healing as anything but rape. and i cannot bear it. it may take me thousands of years to recover, if ever. until then, perhaps for always it will be my pillar eternal which heals the souls drawn to it; those not too badly damaged. this pillar came into being when my soul was stripped to its lifespark - a natural occurance when the soul of an archangel is thus distressed, though the nature of the pillar varies according to the nature of the archangel - and within my vessel extinguished for the first time and even though it rekindled (and that event is now well in excess of 100 times) the pillar is still lit, but will not be in its natural state until i am once again whole and unto myself. and that pillar, given what i am, will stay lit for as long as i exist. and exist not a second longer than my own soul does.